Our Journey
About 6 weeks ago, Mark and I found out we were pregnant. Once the shock wore off we were thrilled. In an effort to protect the boys we told very few people. On Tuesday (10 1/2 weeks along) I went on for my first real OB appointment. When the doctor could not find the heartbeat using the doppler she gave me a choice of having an ultrasound or waiting and coming back to try again in a week. I chose the ultrasound. With Mark headed out of town on Wed, we really wanted to be able to tell the boys before he left that they were going to be big brothers (again).
I went to my ultrasound and the tech was very quiet. I finally asked if she saw a heartbeat. She said she couldn’t but she would try transvaginal and see. She also asked me if I had multiples that ran in my family or if I was on fertility drugs. She was asking me this because there were 4 gestational sacs present.
Further examination revealed the same, no heartbeats, no babies. Two of the sacs measured a little over 5 weeks and two measured a little over 6 weeks. There may have been some sort of a yolk sac in the two bigger ones but nothing in the smaller ones. My doctor called them Blighted Ovum, which account for about half of all miscarriages. This is where the egg is fertilized (eggs in my case) and implant in the uterine wall. Then usually because of chromosomal defects the body stops nurturing them and the pregnancy fails.
I was in shock and very sad. Laying on the table I thought about how blessed I was to already have 2 amazing little boys and that many women have miscarriages before they are blessed with children. I was also so thankful that we saved the boys from experiencing this heart break.
So what is to come….a lot of unknown for me. We are going to wait a week and if I don’t miscarry naturally, then we will complete another ultrasound. My doctor did not have any hopes that there would be any changes in the status, I guess that it is part of the routine. Then I can choose to take a pill that will make me miscarry on my own (70-80% effective) or opt to have a D&C. I am not sure what we are going to choose.
I think we are ok. I am very saddened by the loss of this pregnancy and in awe that there was a possibility of having 4 babies. I know that God is walking this journey with me and he may even be carrying me most of the way. I am grieving the loss and because this is a part of who I am now I wanted to share it with you. Mark and I would appreciate prayer as we face an unknown experience. Specifically, for wisdom if we have to make the choice, for comfort with the pain, for our grief and our loss, and for the 4 little angels that are in the hands of God.
Aunt Dianna said,
February 25, 2010 @ 8:53 am
I am saddened for you both and will keep all of you in my prayers. May God give you His peace and strength.
Gma Tucson said,
February 25, 2010 @ 2:50 pm
Honey – I look forward to your visit this weekend as you search for peace and comfort during this difficult time. I love you so much.
Aunt Donna said,
February 25, 2010 @ 5:36 pm
Oh Heather, I’m so sorry. Such a hard loss. I pray you won’t have to do the meds or procedure, and can carry on normally very soon. Sending love and hugs.
Aunt Donna
Debie said,
February 25, 2010 @ 9:48 pm
I am so sorry you have to go through this. If you need a listening ear, please call. I have been through this 5 times my self. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers here.
GG said,
February 25, 2010 @ 10:35 pm
Fifty or seventy-five years ago, you would probably never have known that there was anything unusual for quite some time. I am so thankful for modern medicine, which can spot and help correct problems early. And we know that through it all, God will be involved, and caring for you. I am so sorry that it has happened to such great people as you and Mark.
Daryl said,
February 27, 2010 @ 11:29 am
Gisele and I had a miscarriage at about 5 months, and I remember that as soon as you know you are pregnant they already feel like part of the family.
It’s a sad thing to go through.
Dad said,
February 28, 2010 @ 7:50 pm
I just read this Hegs. Just know that I love you and I’m thinking of you all.
Heather said,
March 2, 2010 @ 10:07 am
Things appear to be happening naturally. I am very thankful to God for that. The other options kind of scared me a bit. I spoke to my doctor and we are going to monitor the hormones in my blood to see how things progress.
Thank you for your continued prayers. I really appreciate them.
Gma Tucson said,
March 7, 2010 @ 9:05 am
so much love continues to flow your way honey. I love you
Heather said,
March 7, 2010 @ 11:41 am
This whole event has been very difficult. It has been emotionally draining. The past 3 days have been very painful. I would never recommend anyone try to miscarry on their own. My ordeal has been so painful and drawn out. I am praying that it will end soon.
Gma Tucson said,
March 9, 2010 @ 8:17 am
Honey – I continue to pray for you. I know you are spent both physically and emotionally. I wish I could carry this burden for you. I love you so much. Mom
Lyn said,
March 12, 2010 @ 9:55 am
Heather ~ I am so sorry to hear about your loss(es)…Such a crazy thing to happen. Please know that Ryan and I are praying for you and sending lots of love, courage, and strength your way.