About 6 weeks ago, Mark and I found out we were pregnant. Once the shock wore off we were thrilled. In an effort to protect the boys we told very few people. On Tuesday (10 1/2 weeks along) I went on for my first real OB appointment. When the doctor could not find the heartbeat using the doppler she gave me a choice of having an ultrasound or waiting and coming back to try again in a week. I chose the ultrasound. With Mark headed out of town on Wed, we really wanted to be able to tell the boys before he left that they were going to be big brothers (again).

I went to my ultrasound and the tech was very quiet. I finally asked if she saw a heartbeat. She said she couldn’t but she would try transvaginal and see. She also asked me if I had multiples that ran in my family or if I was on fertility drugs. She was asking me this because there were 4 gestational sacs present.

Further examination revealed the same, no heartbeats, no babies. Two of the sacs measured a little over 5 weeks and two measured a little over 6 weeks. There may have been some sort of a yolk sac in the two bigger ones but nothing in the smaller ones. My doctor called them Blighted Ovum, which account for about half of all miscarriages. This is where the egg is fertilized (eggs in my case) and implant in the uterine wall. Then usually because of chromosomal defects the body stops nurturing them and the pregnancy fails.

I was in shock and very sad. Laying on the table I thought about how blessed I was to already have 2 amazing little boys and that many women have miscarriages before they are blessed with children. I was also so thankful that we saved the boys from experiencing this heart break.

So what is to come….a lot of unknown for me. We are going to wait a week and if I don’t miscarry naturally, then we will complete another ultrasound. My doctor did not have any hopes that there would be any changes in the status, I guess that it is part of the routine. Then I can choose to take a pill that will make me miscarry on my own (70-80% effective) or opt to have a D&C. I am not sure what we are going to choose.

I think we are ok. I am very saddened by the loss of this pregnancy and in awe that there was a possibility of having 4 babies. I know that God is walking this journey with me and he may even be carrying me most of the way. I am grieving the loss and because this is a part of who I am now I wanted to share it with you. Mark and I would appreciate prayer as we face an unknown experience. Specifically, for wisdom if we have to make the choice, for comfort with the pain, for our grief and our loss, and for the 4 little angels that are in the hands of God.

This month has been interesting. As usual, we have all gotten sick. Mostly we had colds, but mine turned into a bad sinus infection. Carsten’s hung on for so long he ended up with a sinus infection. You can read more about that whole event below. Camden has started golf lesson after school and he loves them! We are very excited to see my Aunt Traci when she comes out for a visit! Mark also has a continuing education course he is taking at the end of the month in Florida. I will miss him! Next month Carsten will be turning 4 and Mark and I will celebrate 8 years of marriage.

We took Carsten into the ER last night at Cardon’s in Mesa. We had seen the doctor earlier that day regarding an eye infection. His pediatrician thought it was sinusitis and to watch it for changes. We started him on an oral antibiotic. By the afternoon, the swelling had increased and spread to his upper eyelid. I called the office back and they recommended we head over to Cardon’s to have it checked out. When it comes to the eye you can never be too careful.

So we head down after Mark gets off work and check in about 8:00 pm. At 9:30 pm we saw triage. Then about midnight we were called back to the room. About 1:15 we were graced with the presence of the most arrogant and demeaning doctor we have ever met.

Dr. James McKown walked into our room and did not greet us for at least 1 min. At which time he began raising the bed and asked us if we were mom and dad. He never said hello to Carsten. He poked around him a bit and said this is nothing more than bacterial conjunctivitis. I started talking to him about what our pediatrician had said and pointing out the changes. He smirked at me and said that is nothing! While I am speaking to him a page comes over that he has a phone call. He starts walking for the door and I am in mid sentence and he says, “I have a phone call.” I was so pissed! No excuse me, I must take this, or I will be right back. JERK! So on his way out I told him I wanted a different doctor and he said there wasn’t one. I asked specifically about Dr. Mead, who was there when we arrived in our room. His response was, “He is sewing some kids up.” What I heard, and had been hearing, is what a waste of time this has been and he wouldn’t dare waste another doctor’s time on our ridiculous request.

Things got a little heated and we told him that he was rude and Mark even told him he was being and ass! I told him to go take his phone call. When he came back he apologized for our wait and how upset we were. I said that the wait was not why I was upset. I am not happy with his attitude and the way he personally treated us. Things got too much for me and I stepped out of the room. Mark continued speaking with him and I never spoke to the man again.

In addition to his rudeness and horrible attitude he had some fishy inconsistencies. When discussing treatment he said we could to a booster antibiotic shot IF WE WANTED. Mark and I said not to do it if it wasn’t going to help him. Then when we were confronting him about the differences in his diagnosis and our pediatricians he raised his voice and said we MUST GIVE THE SHOT IF WE WANTED TO HELP HIM. (A little different from the first time.) While I was out of the room he discussed other possibilities like running blood tests or doing IV antibiotics but Mark agreed to the booster shot. About 10 minutes later a nurse comes in to discharge him and gives a prescription for eye ointment. After she was done explaining everything I asked about the shot. Her response was the doctor was confused about that. WHAT!!!

Carsten got the shot and was discharged 35 minutes later. I read the discharge diagnosis and it indicated sinusitis, which is funny because he told us it was bacterial conjunctivitis.

Overall the experience was awful! We did not feel that our concern was taken seriously and we did not feel Dr. McKown was courteous or professional. We will never return to Cardon’s Children’s Hospital again.

Chicken Sausage with Squash and Asparagus in a Chili Cream Sauce and Chili Smashed Potatoes

This was so good! Very easy to make!

I am getting brave! I tried another new recipe! This one was from Rachel Ray’s 365-Day cookbook. She claims they take 30 min, but it took me more like 45 minutes. It was pretty easy. I had to buy some ingredients I have never used before and had to ask for help to find them. Mark and I both enjoyed the completed meal. The boys at the orzo pasta with Parmesan cheese and plain chicken I cooked. It was really fun to do!

Chicken
2 lg chicken breasts pounded thin
2 handfuls raw spinach then steamed and chopped
2 TBS of cream cheese
4 oz feta cheese crumbled
1-2 TBS butter

Pound chicken breasts to flatten. Wash and steam spinach for 90 sec. Allow to cool. Combine cream cheese, spinach and feta cheese in bowl and mix well. Divide mixture between two chicken breasts. Spoon mixture in middle of chicken and roll up breasts, secure with toothpicks. Heat about 1-2 TBS of butter in a skillet and quickly sear each side of the breast before placing in a baking pan. After searing both, pour a little of the butter on top of each breast in baking pan. Bake at 350º for 30-40 min. Slice breasts into 1″ section and serve.

This turned out really well and tasted great!

Sauce (didn’t work too well at first)
1/3 c flour
1/3 c butter
1/3 c white wine
1 garlic glove pressed
1/4 c milk

Melt butter and add flour to pan. Stir in wine, milk and garlic. I did this and tasted it. It was too strong. So I took half of it out of the pan and added another 1/4 cup of milk and then it was better. It had a nice smooth flavor but wasn’t very saucy. It was pretty thick. I put a dollop on the plate to dip my fork into so it wouldn’t overwhelm the dish.

I served mine with some red potatoes and green beans (steamer pack).

I have been reading the Julie/Julia Project when I workout now for a while. She was crazy when she decided to cook 520+ french recipes in 365 days. I am not going to do anything that crazy, but I am going to try and cook/bake a new meal once per week. I started yesterday making my first, very homemade soup. It is called Tyler’s Baked Potato Soup. It was delish! It was so incredibly easy as well. I did some prepping early in the day and then when it was time, I threw all the ingredients together and we had a really great meal. Mark’s parents even joined us. I threw together a bagged salad and made crescent rolls too! Stay tuned for more, hopefully not failed attempts at cooking!

Camden lost his first tooth! It was a bottom front tooth. On Friday Dec 11th it came out at school. An 1 week later it is still there! He keeps forgetting, or doesn’t want to bring it home.

Every morning this month Carsten says the cutest thing! My mom bought the boys the chocolate advent calendars, which has become a tradition. First thing when Carsten wakes up that is what he wants to do. This morning he walked in to our room, calendar in hand, and says “What day?” so he can get his chocolate. It really is adorable!

May you have a safe and happy holiday!

Mark sliced his thumb tonight with a razor cutter. So off to Urgent Care we went. It was quite a slice too! Mark was very brave and now has a current tetanus shot! Thanks to Brian and Carrie for watching the boys!